The 4 Step Gay Man’s Guide to the Holiday Buffet

As coupling season begins for the holidays, I have a few hot tips and suggestions to help make those holiday gatherings a little less awkward and to score a delicious meal without failing miserably. If you observe these easy gay holiday buffet rules before deciding what to put on your plate, you might go home stuffed with some sausage and nut.

1: Do not show up thirsty. We’ve all had at least one or two drought seasons wherein we end up sipping on something that didn’t settle well that keeps coming back up or consuming more than we can chew… and then that gag reflex kicks in. 🤮

2: Test the temperature and aroma of the room for the various delicious opportunities. If your mouth isn’t watering and your taste buds aren’t teasing- keep moving down the line.

3: After a tasty stroll around the buffet, you’ve found a tantalizing dish! Approach your new meal with confidence and slight hunger- but not too thirsty.

4. Now that you have selected your meal, go into a nice quiet corner of the party to relax and devour that shit!

Bon Appétit!




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