Remember when it was six months into the relationship and you still couldn’t keep your hands off of each other? Every spare moment was an opportunity to squeeze your partner in, and you’d be left all tingly throughout the day after saying your “goodbyes” for the day. So, what the hell is happening now that you are stable and smooth sailing? You barely touch, you have sex once or twice a week and you’re not even that intimate with each other. The thrill is gone and so are your sex toys.
Since every couple needs a little boost, especially when a sex crisis hits, we’re giving you a few tips to help you out.
Try Honesty, For a Change
Gay couples tend to stay in a relationship because it’s comfy. You’re okay with one another, you’ve built a life you like, and you can’t be bothered to go down the crazy-partying road again. So, you stay. You aren’t really happy but you stick around. Draining of intimacy and real closeness is the first (and often the biggest) reason people lose sexual interest in one another. Before you start breaking your ribs on sex swings in an attempt to restore your sexual appetites, talk. Be mature, open and honest – and figure out why things are happening the way they are. You’d be surprised what you can find out when you just acknowledge the problem and give it the opportunity to be solved. Once you talk, you’ll know. If your partner is denying the problem while you are absolutely aware of it, it may be that it’s you. Maybe you’ve outgrown this relationship and it’s time to move on. If both of you agree that you’ve been more Netflix than chill recently – you should keep on reading the following advice.
Rekindle The Love, First
If you’ve been going through a dry spell and you’ve both acknowledged it, now it is to change things for the better. However, any type of quick jumps into your once-regular sexcapades or forced sexual interactions won’t do you any good. If anything, it’ll do the opposite.
Work yourselves into the love making by first being gentle and tender with each other. Often hugs, touches, seductive looks, caresses, and other tellers of affection and love will wire your mind and body to loosen up and get re-focused from disinterest to a burning desire. Be patient, and sex will follow naturally.
Once you are in a serious relationship, most things come down to talking about grocery shopping, bills, random mundane activities and seeing all the same people, all the time. No wonder your sex life suffers! The irony is that everything you’re doing now was exactly what you swore you’d never do! “We’ll never be THAT couple!”. Well, you are. To bring sexual adventure and excitement back into your relationship, go back to dating days. Remember how fun that was? Dinner dates, little weekend getaways, traveling, clubbing, meeting new people, going to the movies, gallery opening – all gave a special flair to dating and kept you excited about each other! Bring this type of excitement in your life and you’ll see your sex life blossom again.
Zip it About Sex!
Instead of constantly talking about sex, just do it. Don’t make a big deal out of it, as it really isn’t. It’s something both of you enjoy, something you’ve been enjoying for a pretty long time before this awkward moment in time happened. So, verbalizing your sexual desires doesn’t really help. Instead, be open, wild, free… enjoy all the men’s sex toys you’ve even forgot you have, be spontaneous and don’t leave sex just for a pre-sleep time. Think creatively! Show your partner you desire him everywhere, at any given moment.
Drop The Apps
Don’t even try to deny it – you are on every single app and it’s killing the need for your man. Apps are overtaking our lives and with no logic or rhyme or reason behind it, we are repeatedly getting sucked into this virtual world, thinking it’s better than what we’ve got. Even if you’ve been telling yourself it’s just to meet friends, shut down the apps and go have sex with your man. You’ve got a real person in your bed, on your counter, in the living room, outside, under the shower, in the car… wherever (!) waiting for you, and you’re scrolling through Grindr, Tinder, and Instagram. Seriously, wtf? Sometimes, things are as simple as leaving your phone in the other room and surprising him from the back. Or front. Whichever one you prefer.
While these tips may not be the cure to your problem, they should help get you back in action. If you love each other, it might be just a temporary glitch (all relationships come to this point, inevitably) that’s easily solvable if both parties are willing. However, if the love is gone, it’s gone. There’s no glue to fix that broken mirror. But, you clearly care if you’re still reading this. So, if it’s just a bump in the road, even the effort of reading this article and trying spice up a fading sex life will be appreciated, and hopefully rewarded!
Have any of these tips worked for you? Any other suggestions? Let me know in the comment below.